From Tight to Right.

First Lesson in Upsizing.

Feeling insecure is a deep human emotion/experience. There's a line I initially heard on a show that said something along the lines of "I wish I was as thin as I actually was back when I thought I was fat." But that's neither here nor there. 

From my last post, you may have read that I decided to get into sewing because I wanted to make boxier clothes to fit my curvy body b/c I wanted to look less femme, less like a woman, and more like someone who felt comfortable in their clothes. When I stopped caring about what I was wearing (because I made them), I had a lot more fun. I wasn't constantly pulling on a shirt to hide my stomach or thinking that my eczema scars were showing on my flabby arms. Honestly, I wear short sleeves now b/c I am comfortable with what I am wearing. I'm also swimming in it. When I say that, I don't mean that they are too big for me - I mean more like I am free, without constraints or lanes. I never have to doubt that the item of clothing I have made will make me uncomfortable. Because if it does, it goes in the "mend later" or "figure out how to recycle it" pile. On a daily basis, I don't have to worry about trivial things like "My body. My clothes. What a chore!" 

Since I have developed a happier and healthier relationship with my clothes, I have forgot all about them. I don't stress too much about "fashion." I have cared about what I think looks good on me. When I was in my early twenties, I used to wear makeup. (I had a lot of cis men in my life at that time who lectured me about 'you don't need it' like... shut up, dude.) I chose makeup because when I looked in the mirror, I wanted to like what I saw. It was also one of those reasons I never looked at myself when I cried; it was NOT a pretty sight. Now, I don't even blink an eye at the fact that the thing I do most is wash my face in the morning if you're lucky (lol, just kidding, mostly.)

From the moment I ordered my machine online to the day it arrived in the mail, I watched a lot of YouTube videos on sewing in general. How to use a sewing machine to mend clothes. What a seam ripper is... which I accidentally bought online without even knowing what it was. It was listed as "beginner tools for sewists." And I was like, "Okay!" 🤷🏽

My first and foremost deal was "How do I make clothes bigger." I came across multiple videos, and I watched quite a few of them. There were many that focused on making it fit to your body - which wasn't exactly my jam - I was looking for tips and tricks to actually how to do it. Also, I realized that if it’s a long tutorial, I need the creator to be speaking through the process. If it’s just background music and their act, and I have to read the words on the screen, I’ve already zoned out.

There are two creators on YT that I still thank for starting off my journey. (Caution to the cause - I know what this blog is about, and I am still recommending these people. They are both Canadian, Cis-White women, and like 90% sure are not queer.) But when my journey had started, I was looking for skill. Eventually, as time went on, I noticed what had been 'lacking' in the space - which is what this blog is about. Y'know? But it's also about me sharing my journey and my experience, so don't mind if I do. Also, these two thrift a lot, like a lot a lot, and they taught me about sustainable fashion and what that actually means. 

1. Catherine Sews: Make a T-Shirt BIGGER: 5 WAYS [Side note, I didn’t know what a serger was until I watched this video.]

2. Sheri - Confessions of a Refashionista: 2 Ways To Make Your Shirt Bigger - Easy Sewing Tutorial [a word of caution - This creator's style may not appeal to everyone; her overly sweet and upbeat demeanor might be off-putting for some. However, amidst that, there are also a few genuinely practical and insightful pieces of advice.]

My own "Lessons Learned": You will need slightly more (fabric) than you think you'll need. Be mindful of the fact that if you're going to machine-dry vs air-dry, it might shrink. Heck, depending on the material, it might shrink regardless. It's all about trial and error. The first few times, it never comes out perfect. But if you're one of those lucky geniuses who seem to get everything right on the first try, this might not apply to you.

Remember, just because someone says you can't do something doesn't mean they're right. There's no shame in failing, and if you're unhappy with the way things are, it's worth taking the chance to change them. Sometimes, it's through our challenges and setbacks that we discover our greatest strengths and opportunities for growth.

As I leave for today, I'd like to leave you with this thought, which isn't just about me and what I talked about today - but it can be applied to nearly everything. 

Rumi's poem below… is about going beyond just thinking in terms of right and wrong and instead finding a deeper, more meaningful experience. It suggests that in this deeper state, regular ideas and words don't really apply. The poet is urging us to stay awake and aware, to keep our minds open to new insights and truths that go beyond everyday thinking.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase "each other"
doesn't make any sense.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

I found the poem here: Elephant Journal. (2016, December 8). *The Rumi poem we should all read* ... all to say that I had not thought of this poem and this verse all on my own. Though I have several books on Rumi and enjoy reading them from time to time. 

Much like my sewing journey, Rumi's poem encourages us to move beyond conventional boundaries and find deeper meaning in our experiences. Sewing has taught me to focus on what truly makes me happy instead of worrying about superficial concerns, and Rumi's message resonates with that idea. I encourage you to reflect on your own life and consider how embracing new perspectives might lead to greater fulfillment. Think about what might be holding you back and how breaking free from those limits could open up new possibilities. Just as I've found joy and comfort in making my own clothes, I hope for you to discover your own path to feeling more at ease and fulfilled.

I wish whoever finds and reads this post has a wonderful day. I'd love to read any comments you might have about your own journey, whether you're just starting out, in the middle, or simply considering it.

Be well.